On Death
 Kahlil Gibran

You would know the secret of death.
But how shall you find it unless you seek it in the heart of life?
The owl whose night-bound eyes are blind unto the day cannot unveil the mystery of light.
If you would indeed behold the spirit of death, open your heart wide unto the body of life.
For life and death are one, even as the river and the sea are one.


In the depth of your hopes and desires lies your silent knowledge of the beyond;
And like seeds dreaming beneath the snow your heart dreams of spring.
Trust the dreams, for in them is hidden the gate to eternity.
Your fear of death is but the trembling of the shepherd when he stands before the king whose hand is to be laid upon him in honour.
Is the shepherd not joyful beneath his trembling, that he shall wear the mark of the king?
Yet is he not more mindful of his trembling?


For what is it to die but to stand naked in the wind and to melt into the sun?
And what is it to cease breathing, but to free the breath from its restless tides, that it may rise and expand and seek God unencumbered?


Only when you drink from the river of silence shall you indeed sing.
And when you have reached the mountain top, then you shall begin to climb.
And when the earth shall claim your limbs, then shall you truly dance.

 

 

In some respects Bitterness and Anger over lap.

Now, for me, life is just the pain in the ass to get through

 

door

What about Forever?

That's what love was supposed to be

For some life is happy

for some it's just a pain in the ass.

and there's the "Take the Bitter with the Sweet crowd" Easier said than done.

I won't deny there is sweet.. I used to get happy more often.

How can I reconcile the suffering and death of loved ones?

I just listened to an Audible book, Molecules of emotion. The immune/emotions relationship is not a new idea to me. Truth is intuitive in us all...
How do I fix this problem?
Behaving like a selfish child. Arguing with spouse for years
I believe a large contributing factor to lowering other's immune system in the process. She gets cancer. Dies before 50.
How do I fix that? I mean fix that for her, not me, although that would follow.

Joseph Campbell called "Regrets' - enlightenment come too late.

 

Whose dream is this, anyway?

im

Dirtysneakers: An ongoing discussion with no body

We call it 'Thinking"

Monkey mind?

Ever look at the list of mental health issues that people in that field treat? Long list. Funny, I could never find Guilt or Shame on any list, the feeling of guilt, remorse, regret on any of the credentials/specialties lists.

Is it called something else or maybe the guilty be damned. Just desserts and all that. Or maybe there's just nothing for it.


Nothing ever goes away until it teaches us what we need to know. -Pema Chodrin 

Neurosis is always a substitute for legitimate suffering - C.G. Jung

Shame is a soul eating emotion.  - C.G. Jung



“I believe that we are solely responsible for our choices, and we have to accept the consequences of every deed, word, and thought throughout our lifetime.”
Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

Warning: There's no order to this web page. No page numbers. Just shit thrown against the wall, to see what sticks.
All these rants are guaranteed by good housekeeping to be easily dismiss able.

Just consider the source!

Nothing ever goes away until it teaches us what we need to know. -Pema Chodrin
(at least Pema infers there is hope if you learn. Yea but how many fucking lifetimes and how much collateral damage along the way?)

Neurosis is always a substitute for legitimate suffering - C.G. Jung
(So what does Carl mean by 'legitimate suffering'? Just dessert?)

Shame is a soul eating emotion. - C.G. Jung

Everyone has a right to whine and be a bummer, but know one has to listen to or like it.
That's why I vent here. You don't have to read this. You can go to another page. Now, if you haven't already. I wont know nor be offended. You can not answer my questions anyway. Tell me I'm wrong? Prove it.

also visit/participate DirtySneakers on facebook

for a real depressing time!

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“The goal of the hero trip
down to the jewel point
is to find those levels in the psyche
that open, open, open,
and finally open to the mystery
of your Self being
Buddha consciousness
or the Christ.

That’s the journey.

It is all about finding
that still point in your mind
where commitment drops away.”

Joseph Campbell, “A Joseph Campbell Companion: Reflections on the Art of Living.” 
(courtesy of Joseph Campbell Foundation)

 

But how many attain that and in knowing so, know failure.

Sigmund Freud stresses in his writings the passages and difficulties of the first half of the human cycle of life—those of our infancy and adolescence, when our sun is mounting toward its zenith. C. G. Jung, on the other hand, has emphasized the crises of the second portion—when, in order to advance, the shining sphere must submit to descend and disappear, at last, into the night-womb of the grave. The normal symbols of our desires and fears become converted, in this afternoon of the biography, into their opposites; for it is then no longer life but death that is the challenge. What is difficult to leave, then, is not the womb but the phallus—unless, indeed, the life-weariness has already seized the heart, when it will be death that calls with the promise of bliss that formerly was the lure of love. Full circle.

MYTH AND DREAM

from the tomb of the womb to the womb of the tomb, we come: an ambiguous, enigmatical incursion into a world of solid matter that is soon to melt from us, like the substance of a dream. And, looking back at what had promised to be our own unique, un- predictable, and dangerous adventure, all we find in the end is such a series of standard metamorphoses as men and women have undergone in every quarter of the world, in all recorded centuries, and under every odd disguise of civilization.-- 

 

“The big question is whether you are going to be able to say a hearty yes to your adventure ”


― Joseph Campbell

 

This is my seriously pretentious wallow place to vent for whatever uselessness I haven't figured out yet.

If you'd rather laugh, go here: https://www.facebook.com/aguygoesintoabar

LIFE: Watching people you love get old or sick, suffer and die.

Later realizing you gave less than you received.

No peace without justice.

No solution with missing factors.

Does Zen have an opinion on reincarnation?

If not, I guess this is an inappropriate post and my apology.

Are reincarnation or another plane or the plethera of theories the only choices after this body experience? What about nothingness?

I mean no continuation of consciousness

Nomemories

no cancerous karma that follows you like a Google ad of something you looked up days ago, maybe at Amazon and it keeps popping up on the sidebar of subsequent, unrelated website pages as an ad.

no person-ality to follow, no karma, this incarnation, if that's not too pretenstious a word for this deluded think machine and I use that word loosly. No essense of previous. No previous.

The only escape other than suicide seems become to a sate of taking it all by thowing out all you were taught and told yourself is right and wrong, All you 'believe' and just allow, just be happy, fearless crazy. Seriously happy, which may well include good intentions towards others if it feelsgood and often does. Freedom doesnt have to be selfish as so many institutions brainwash us. BE KIND AND THAT'S AN ORDER! Bullshit! Follwing orders even 'teachings' means it didn't originate from inside you.

Of course, the question about exactly where thw real you is is much bandied about.

Ego verses self. Where does conditioning come in? That sort of thing. So how to get a line on 'it'?

The watcher's watcher's watcher's watchers...... watcher? A good argument for stillness of mind.

Is there such a thing as zero? Can it be a choice? How?

To give up on not only this life, albeit see it through to the end, but not enter into anything when this body dies.

To be no more.

I've heard lots of 'answers', like 'stop seeking and you'll stop suffering'

Just come back again and keep screwing up until you get it right.

What if I don't want to play that game? Really.



When one has shame or regret and the apology is impossible because the other person(s) are gone now. To say learn from that and move on seems trite or condescending. How is reconciliation possible with the deceased in a provable, tangible, sans-faith way?

When couples say 'forever' to each other and there is no such tangible, eternal connection other than accept we are but rising and falling waves in the same ocean that keeps no individual 'personalities' for long. 
The ocean fools and teases itself with these temporary forms.


So can anyone do any shitty things at all  without care and then just will forgiveness on themselves afterwards without any real reconciliation with the hurt party because there is no hurt party to be found? No offender either. Play.
A good song always ends on the same tonic it started with. As should friends.
If that doesn't’t happen, the song cannot be re-written.
Ignorance is a great excuse.  Regret is a bitch.
The apple cannot taste sweet again. My subjectivity.

You did it to yourself. "Na, na na na na :P"   A just desert laddie! Eat up,and barf, but don't worry (and here's where it gets interesting)

It’s been suggested to me by Buddhist enthusiasts :

“it is a vast and comprehensive teaching and it requires enthusiasm and effort. Would you ask the same question in an advanced physics class? btw great poems, they may be all you need.”

I answer:  a physics student has the choice to quit school. Not return after Summer break (Bardo)
As opposed to that reincarnation sounds like incarceration.
The only choices being suffer endless, go blinder, bitter schooling or earn your degree.
Thoughts?

Joseph Campbell called "Regrets' - enlightenment come too late.


When my time comes, and there are many dogs and cats to care for before that, so don't worry, please don't make me come back. I'm not asking you. I don't believe in any one to ask. Myself? 
So are some 4 truths or 8 folds or 10 commandments or whatever course dijour methodology the only way to cease this? It's like indentured servitude.
As you might guess, I didn't much like public school either as a kid. I can't even imagine private schools.  I hear some are good.  I'm not blaming school here, that's another subject, (get it?) just saying, at least school gives you the option to quit and not come back if you don't want to.

Thanks, but other than my dependents (all four-legged, not counting the bird) the 'Living in the Now' thing doesn't interest me anymore  without the departed. Is there a meditation, a chant, a line to sign, whatever to refuse reincarnation?
I’ve had enough.

To verbalize what I want just sounds silly. To 'talk' to them again. It's been 18 years so it's not a phase I'm going through. No one can help it appears. I'll tell you something that might interest you. When my wife was dying, in bed, she looked out the window and said she felt she and the tree outside were the same thing and asked me if I'd ever experienced that. So I do belief there is 'more then this' but I don't know how to get my wish. I don't believe in psychics or shrinks, They do help some people find peace and that's great!

What I'm saying, I guess, is that if I can't have 'my favored version' of reality, where personal identity and communication go on forever, and friends know reunion after this or that body but instead I live in this world where myself, and it seems most others are born, basically blind or at some particular rung of a ladder we must all climb to get out, if you'll excuse the expression, then... I don't want to play this game again and again.

To sum up most eastern dogma seems to say thoughts of past and future, in fact, thoughts in general, even now are not reality.
So, why play the game?  How the fuck did I get here?
If the only evidence is inside me or transcendental, how would I know I'm not just 'believing' as opposed to knowing?
I repeat- everyone has a right to whine and be a bummer, but know one has to listen or like it.
That's why I vent here. You don't have to read this. You can go to another page. Now, if you haven't already. I wont know nor be offended. You can not answer my questions anyway. Tell me I'm wrong? Prove it.

I suppose if I had a better attitude/brain  chemicals/balls I'd see things in a different light and all my questions would be moot?

And 'me' is just whatever persona I feel the compulsion to project on/as me - that's one definition of ego, maybe. Clap if you believe.

So who 'feels' like being this or that persona?   Who runs the projector?

Careful, don't let anyone run your projector. Like going to a class reunion after 30 years,  you could get sucked into believing old projections are the real you.   Real you?   WTF?.

So how does one transcend the projector screen?

Waiter, check please. I don't want to eat this crap anymore.   I can't even have a fit of temper and say, "God damn it",  without being a hypocrite. 

All the dog mothers (dogma to you) seem to say "No John, you can't quit the game. You're simply not allowed. The great mystery has no option for that"

Non-reincarnation dogmas say, well you get scored and sent to a really cool or really shitty place. Not sure what purgatory is.

Dogmas that favor reincarnation say you keep coming back to this shithole forever or until you achieve some line of crap.

What about none of the above?  I quit! Fuck thou. Don't wannabe your 'love' slave no mo, no mo

Can I get a "Hallelujah" ?

When I was young, I thinkIwas just an intermittent dick. Now in my golden years, I think I am more frequently a dick. More often than not,I'd say, with an acquired taste for intermittent self loathing and other loathing as well, as would surely follow or lead.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

When an old cricketer leaves the crease - Roy Harper

 

When the day is done and the ball has spun in the umpires pocket away
And all remains in the grounds man's pains for the rest of time and a day
There'll be one mad dog and his master, pushing for four with the spin
On a dusty pitch with two pounds six of willow wood in the sun.

When an old cricketer leaves the crease, you never know whether he's gone
If sometimes you're catching a fleeting glimpse of a twelfth man at silly Mid-on
And it could be Geoff and it could be John with a new ball sting in his tail
And it could be me and it could be thee and it could be the sting in the ale, sting in the ale.

When an old cricketer leaves the crease, well you never know whether he's gone
If sometimes you're catching a fleeting glimpse of a twelfth man at silly Mid-on
And it could be Geoff and it could be John with a new ball sting in his tail
And it could be me and it could be thee and it could be the sting in the ale, sting in the ale.

When the moment comes and the gathering stands and the clock turns back to reflect
On the years of grace as those footsteps trace for the last time out of the act
Well this way of life's recollection, the hallowed strip in the haze
The fabled men and the noonday sun are much more than just yarns of their days.

When an old cricketer leaves the crease, well you never know whether he's gone
If sometimes you're catching a fleeting glimpse of a twelfth man at silly Mid-on
And it could be Geoff and it could be John with a new ball sting in his tail
And it could be me and it could be thee and it could be the sting in the ale, the sting in the ale.

When an old cricketer leaves the crease, well you never know whether he's gone
If sometimes you're catching a fleeting glimpse of a twelfth man at silly Mid-on
And it could be Geoff and it could be John with a new ball sting in his tail
And it could be me and it could be thee.

Roy Harper

 

________________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Ground control to Major Tom......"       CQ...CQ....CQ

 

It may be that the spirit goes on after the body and I wish that for people with character, Ruth, Del and many.
It isn't consolation when I consider it was my spirit that lived as such a shit head, not my body, so why would being 'stuck with me' be good news?

Can spirits change their nature? Wasn't that the real me that put on such a poor show? Stupid, short-sighted, selfish fuck.

Monkey mind, death of ego, all that shit, why do some live better lives than others, whatever the reason, resolve or circumstance?

 

Check this shit out:

http://ultraculture.org/blog/2015/04/09/tibetan-buddhist-afterlife-bardo-comix/

Actually the first paragraph in this link is encouraging. It says,"

According to Tibetan Buddhists, the bardo is the intermediary stage between death and rebirth—where a soul who has just left its body experiences a hyper-soul vivid “virtual reality” where its life flashes before its eyes, and it gets to witness first-hand the karma it has accumulated during that lifetime. The Nyingma school of Tibet teaches that this period lasts 49 days, during which time the just-passed individual must come to grips with the life they’ve just lived and prepare for the next one, which will be determined not only by their prior karma but by their actions in the bardo.

The bardo teachings are incredibly deep and complex, and critical for esoteric Buddhists—particularly because devoted Buddhists believe that this trans-incarnational period is an excellent opportunity to decide not to reincarnate, and therefore avoid the suffering inherent in existence."

=============================================================================================================

So maybe I'm all wrong in presuming I can't just say, "No thanks" at the Bardo and vanish!   Cool.  I wonder what gave me the other impressions? Organized religions, I suspect .

boo

 

in a book called 'The secret oral teachings in Tibetan Buddhist Sects.' they write, 'In general we distinguish three kinds of individuals: Those whose intelligence is completely dull; those whose is intelligence is of average quality; able to understand some Truths which are specially evident; those endowed with an intelligence better equipped for acute perceptions, who are fit to penetrate below the surface of the world of physical phenomena and grasp the causes that are work here.'
This book (google it) goes on to say, as I take it, that for most people, it's impossible to get it. I don't get it. I mean life, not the quote. If he's right, doesn't it follow that if that is true, then the world is 'unfixable'. The dinosaurs lasted like 10 or 20 times longer than us. Animals of other species seem happier in general than us or at least more content. It seems all Art, including your humor are attempts to bring perception though common metaphors. Your thoughts?

But I don't know if it works.
Everything is the finger(s) pointing at the moon, but where the fuck is the moon. I'm afraid to look. That sounds like:
Jung

Easy for Carl to say, he lived a good life. Good show old boy!

The brain is a tool to serve not be served.

Serve who?

The real you?

Be still the muddy water of the thinking, thinking, stupid fucking thinking and maybe it will become clear.

 

I could be muddy my whole life. Even longer maybe.

 

 

P. S.  This is not a 'cry for help', unless you mean help for all who want to know. Enquiring minds.... Maybe asking comes to no good. Besides, I don't think anyone can help.  The species has amused itself to death.   That's  a book title by Neil Postman, which Roger Water's borrowed for a song/cd title.

I'm pretty well convinced no one knows the specific answers and if you did, you can't even lead a blind horse to water and if he touched it,  he'd probably drown or turn in fear of drowning. Leap of faith?  No thanks Indiana. Do some reconcile or know? Is anyone happy?

Some preach blind faith, others years of meditation to prepare, others satori, yet others have suggestions. Selling books, churches, Shrinks, mushrooms and pills.

If you're satisfied with the idea of never being satisfied, then you may be satisfied.

A gentleman posted to me  IMO we have the same purpose as the trees, animals and even the bugs. It is to continue life. We all have a role. The best way, as humans, we can fulfill this purpose is through awakening, learning and spiritual direction.


Which sort of brings me full circle to my first post. I'll rephrase it. Does it make me a bad person to think, hey if don't like this life, That my business! Sure there were good times. Gone now.
While I'm not suicidal. I'll ride this life to it's bronco busting end. Too many dogs and cats depend on me for one thing and it's against the law. I wouldn't want to get in trouble, I just would like a 'no come back in any form of life' clause, were there such a thing,why not? ok? Give me a good reason.

 

But the yan to the ying or vice-versa is THE JOKE'S ON ME.

So, maybe, I can have the last laugh by laughing at my predicament?    Fuck it.  So if it's so futile, what do I hope to gain from this spilling of my guts?

Maybe regrets are just narcissistic. Selfishness. A continuation of the selfish shit that got me where I am today. A sick security or so I think.

Jokes.  You can save me with jokes. Remember clapping for Tinker bell. Make me laugh. Laughter is salvation. Even better than sex, well  maybe not really good sex, but better than average sex. It's close. So speaking of last laugh...  Wanna help?  Make me laugh.  Post a joke. go here: https://www.facebook.com/aguygoesintoabar

My favorites are the Grizzly Bear and the Parrot/Plumber

 

Did you ever draw the connection between:

"May 'The Force' be with you"          and           "May 'God' be with you"        Duh ?

The word 'God' has been so overused, misused, abused that I'll bet more people perk up when you call it something else. "Justin Berber" or maybe just a beaver.

May the Beaver be with you...

Hopeless

Did you ever feel like you were living with a piece of shit and it's you?

 

So, if I confess my sins to myself can I feel then, finally better then? Some peace? Always selfish motives.   I feel a song coming on:

 


Why do we never get an answer
When we're knocking at the door
With a thousand million questions
About hate and death and war?

'cause when we stop and look around us
There is nothing that we need.
In a world of persecution that is burning in its greed.

Why do we never get an answer
When we're knocking at the door?
Because the truth is hard to swallow
That's what the war of love is for.

It's not the way that you say it
When you do those things to me.
It's more the way that you mean it
When you tell me what will be.

And when you stop and think about it
You won't believe it's true.
That all the love you've been giving
Has all been meant for you.


I'm looking for someone to change my life.
I'm looking for a miracle in my life.
And if you could see what it's done to me
To lose the love I knew
Could safely lead me through.

Between the silence of the mountains
And the crashing of the sea
There lies a land I once lived in
And she's waiting there for me.

But in the grey of the morning
My mind becomes confused
Between the dead and the sleeping
And the road that I must choose.

I'm looking for someone to change my life.
I'm looking for a miracle in my life.
And if you could see what it's done to me
To lose the love I knew
Could safely lead me to
The land that I once knew.
To learn as we grow old
The secrets of our souls.

It's not the way that you say it
When you do those things to me.
It's more the way you really mean it
When you tell me what will be.

Why do we never get an answer
When we're knocking at the door
With a thousand million questions
About hate and death and war?

When we stop and look around us
There is nothing that we need.
In a world of persecution that is burning in its greed.

Question lyrics; Justin Hayward



 

What I consider related ideas, not neccesarily in agreement with my own, from other sources:

 

Shoulda ... lots of things. Ruth, Jodie, Joe, Ned, Del

I should've turned  onto I-80 and drove to see Del when I had the whim, instinct.

oblivion

  •  : the state of not knowing what is going on around you

  • : the state of being destroyed

 

  1. 1:  the fact or condition of forgetting or having forgotten; especially :  the condition of being oblivious

  2. 2:  the condition or state of being forgotten or unknown

 

I no longer trust my 'whims'    not in touch with life.    as good as blind, deaf, no feeling,     as  good as  dead.

Once in a while it works. A blind squirrel finds a nut or the cat manages to push the office door open because I didn't latch it.
The cat keeps pawing away so long as it works once in a while, that seems to be worth the rest of the time. So far, but sometimes I forget and wonder, how long before the squirrel runs out of luck and starves?

Did Darwin mean to include survival of the emotionally, financially and luck prone 'fittest' along with physical and cantelligence?

Opportunities blown usually due to chickening out, lack of confidence, lazy, sense of just dessert.

OUT

inconsolable

isolation, abandonment, fear and anxiety too name just a few

 

This is not an exercise in stoicism, (obviously) which seems the only dignified way to live here as Del showed

Asking impossible questions may be abuse.

Abuse cannot be eliminated unless it is eliminated for self and other.  In other words it doesn't seem possible to not abuse others if you are abusive to yourself, and vice-versa.
" and when you stop and think about it,you won't believe it's true..."

For me anyway.

My wife was dying, peacefully in the bedroom, (18 years ago) and looking out the window, she asked me if I ever looked at a tree and felt it was no different. I forget her exact words, but knew what she meant intellectual. she was experiencing it. That's why I asked. P. s. Ruth was a no B. S. person too.

On Death
 Kahlil Gibran

You would know the secret of death.
But how shall you find it unless you seek it in the heart of life?
The owl whose night-bound eyes are blind unto the day cannot unveil the mystery of light.
If you would indeed behold the spirit of death, open your heart wide unto the body of life.
For life and death are one, even as the river and the sea are one.


In the depth of your hopes and desires lies your silent knowledge of the beyond;
And like seeds dreaming beneath the snow your heart dreams of spring.
Trust the dreams, for in them is hidden the gate to eternity.
Your fear of death is but the trembling of the shepherd when he stands before the king whose hand is to be laid upon him in honor.
Is the shepherd not joyful beneath his trembling, that he shall wear the mark of the king?
Yet is he not more mindful of his trembling?


For what is it to die but to stand naked in the wind and to melt into the sun?
And what is it to cease breathing, but to free the breath from its restless tides, that it may rise and expand and seek God unencumbered?


Only when you drink from the river of silence shall you indeed sing.
And when you have reached the mountain top, then you shall begin to climb.
And when the earth shall claim your limbs, then shall you truly dance.

 

 

im

 

suffering

Is there something permanent?

Ever lasting?

 

(buzzer sound) Too late?

 

 

I listen to and read the products of souls whom I aspire to be like, or so I tell myself, but I am sure they have never done the mean spirited things I have done, so it is impossible for me to have lived as well as they


Can't undo guilt, regret, shame, can’t undo the deeds, whatever the excuse was for doing, eh?

 


lastsong

Play The last song by clicking above then buy this CD if you can afford it.
The whole thing is good, but I have to admit the above is usually my favorite.


There's never enough time for the ones that you love

*****************************************************************************************************************

S0, if I rant long enough about how bad I feel,will I be absolved? Will I feel good? Be excited about life?

By who?. Most of the people who lived with my shit are dead. There is no one else with that power.

 

 

Junger than Spring time

Here a Google, there a Google

 

fearthich

 

 

 

'And it would be impossible to count how many of these folks appeared to want me not only to empathize with them but also to absolve them simply because they “felt bad” about things they’d done. Most of these individuals were far too willing simply to vent about their pain and continue their destructive patterns than to take up the inordinately more arduous task of constructing a self and a life they could really live with.'
From Dr George Simon http://counsellingresource.com/features/2010/08/03/jung-words-of-wisdom/

 


fixit

2jungs todie

 

ANGER

124568

 

"And the winner is...

7

So when something can't be fixed, do what?

 

https://www.facebook.com/milen.tv/videos/760305920706630/


Joseph Campbell - The Hero's Journey Movievimeo.com

Joseph Campbell--Myth As the Mirror for the Ego

Joseph Campbell--On Becoming an Adult

 

 

------------------------------

Loser gets angry. Angry guy becomes bigger loser, etc., etc.

Lashing out blindly

Hurting all within reach.

-------------------------------

While George's guitar gently weeps.

 

 

 

Enjoy your problems.

 

10 aspects of suffering from birth to death.. or parody of David Letterman's Top Ten lists. Reorder by your liking.

1. Suffering of birth.(At least we need 15 years to live on our own)

2. Suffering of aging.

3. Suffering of getting sick.


4. Suffering of body pains


5. Suffering of regretting. (my personal favorite)


6. Suffering of mentally tiredness.


7. Suffering of crying.


8. Suffering of living without love ones.


9. Suffering of living without basic needs or ability to support our dependents. Just thinking about it.


10.Suffering of death.
(It is very hard to find a moment without any of them)

 

 

Nirvana truly realised is Samsara properly understood.

~ Nagarjuna

 

Will it ever be over?

I'm fucking Doomed.

 

Let go of self idea, there is no self, only waves rising and falling from the same body of 'water'

ripples and waves are energy through still water. the water doesn't move

Karma debt? but no personal identity - can't wrap my brain around that seeming paradox. I don't get that one

Everlasting life ? WTF?

 

WHAT A SHOW!

DO NOT REBOOK ME FOR THIS VENUE.

without first explaining this shit and then, I'll decide. Which raises the question, if I have the power to decide, why the fuck did I choose to come here this time?
Misleading brochures at the Bardo Travel Agency?

otherwise, no thanks.

There are positive, happy people

I'm not one of them

I'd like to be. Really, but it's too late to make up for/fix what's done.

"Well you should've behaved better in the first place", the voice said.

NO SHIT SHERLOCK

a fool is a fool is a fool.

Did I 'plan' to be a fool?

"What do you want to be when you grow up Johnny?"

 

rumi poems


https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Four_Quartets



“The goal of the hero trip
down to the jewel point
is to find those levels in the psyche
that open, open, open,
and finally open to the mystery
of your Self being
Buddha consciousness
or the Christ.

That’s the journey.

It is all about finding
that still point in your mind
where commitment drops away.”

Joseph Campbell, “A Joseph Campbell Companion: Reflections on the Art of Living.” 
(courtesy of Joseph Campbell Foundation)


And if that is not attained, there is this:


Sigmund Freud stresses in his writings the passages and difficulties of the first half of the human cycle of life—those of our infancy and adolescence, when our sun is mounting toward its zenith. C. G. Jung, on the other hand, has emphasized the crises of the second portion—when, in order to advance, the shining sphere must submit to descend and disappear, at last, into the night-womb of the grave. The normal symbols of our desires and fears become converted, in this afternoon of the bi- ography, into their opposites; for it is then no longer life but death that is the challenge. What is difficult to leave, then, is not the womb but the phallus—unless, indeed, the life-weariness has already seized the heart, when it will be death that calls with the promise of bliss that formerly was the lure of love. Full circle.

 

MYTH AND DREAM

from the tomb of the womb to the womb of the tomb, we come: an ambiguous, enigmatical incursion into a world of solid matter that is soon to melt from us, like the substance of a dream. And, looking back at what had promised to be our own unique, un- predictable, and dangerous adventure, all we find in the end is such a series of standard metamorphoses as men and women have undergone in every quarter of the world, in all recorded centuries, and under every odd disguise of civilization.-- 

Campbell

Click on Misfits

cookoo

 

So good for me.

Do we all get what we deserve?

I don't think so.

I can think of several people I've known who deserved a better life and much better ending than they got..

So if you want to tell me, 'no shit, life isn't fair', then how can you question my disapointment?

samadhi

dhyana

just words

I eat, Ishit

I drink, I pee

I almost sleep, dream, I almost wake, dream

born, ...

I couldn't/wouldn't lookat myself when I was merely in my teens. After making the same kind of egotistic mistakes I refused to see then, what makes you think I'd want to look now? 40 years more of selfishness and on a grander scale. Fuck that. (Fuck me too.) Too late to fix or forgive some things. Oh yea, I know, right, this is just the ego tricking me into keeping it around, wily fellow!

WILL IT EVER BE OVER?

 

 

non-doing

 

sit

===== still ======= open ======= no block ====allow === un guard ===== breath ====== look ==== quiet ==== without expectation

born

spoiled, happy child

hormone filled, care-free teen

childhood's end. welcome to the machine

hopeless, pointless

meet someone

have dreams and hope

lose that one

lose hope, no point, nuthin to do or care to

 

is there a soul that be, let alone free?

Whose dream is this?

Alone?

 

Are you there Ruth?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RZOWMPqdUa0 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3S0H1blsuRU
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tq5sga_EFZE

http://what-buddha-said.net/drops/Witdrawal_Wins_Wisdom.htm

https://bobthurman.com/bob-thurman-podcast/

http://tibethouse.us/

http://kadampa.org/reference/renunciation

http://moviepilot.com/posts/3628289

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X4CvFWCULuI https://www.facebook.com/john.hoban.927/videos/1105239559493267/

rumi poems

https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Four_Quartets
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=utPict770gU
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kuhNrGpoUE4

 

Part 1 Part 2


 

What separates guilt from hiri ottappa is the sense of ‘self’ that is operating. In guilt, “I” am guilty. In hiri ottapa there are causes and conditions that lead to skilful or unskillful actions. There is no “I” that is constellated. What this means is that it is possible to look carefully at the causes and the conditions that give rise to not following through and generate motivation, interest and care when we see these conditions arise. Whereas with guilt, the tendency is to collapse into a negative “self” who then may have little motivation to do things right because of feeling so badly.
-from awakeningtruth.org

 

ds

in·do·lence
ˈindələns/
noun
  1. avoidance of activity or exertion; laziness.
    "my failure is probably due to my own indolence"
    synonyms:
    laziness, idleness, slothfulness, sloth, shiftlessness, inactivityinaction,inertia, sluggishness, lifelessness, lethargylanguor, languidness, torpor,torpidity; 

 

 

 

"A mythological canon is an organization of symbols, ineffable in import, by which the energies of aspiration are evoked and gathered toward a focus. The message leaps from heart to heart by way of the brain, and where the brain is unpersuaded, the message cannot pass.The life, then, is untouched. For those in whom a local mythology still works, there is an experience both of accord with the social order, and of harmony with the universe. For those, however, in whom the authorized signs no longer work––or, if working, produce deviant effects––there follows inevitably a sense both of dissociation from the local social nexus and of quest, within and without, for life, which the brain takes to be for 'meaning.' "

Joseph Campbell, The Masks of God, Vol. IV: Creative Mythology

(courtesy of the Joseph Campbell Foundation)

Tonic, stage right. door

I don't want to try again.

last modified 9/03/2016